Is Coors Light Made for Stupid People?

This beer is cold.

For a while now, I have been confused by Coors Light’s marketing strategy.  Here’s what we do know:  The light domestic beer market is dominated by three very similar players – Coors, Miller, Anheuser-Busch.  Much like the cola game, with Coke and Pepsi, brand image plays a major role in which side of the field consumers choose to take.

The 3 Light Crew tastes a lot alike, caters mostly to men and uses football and humor in its advertising.  While Bud has attempted to differentiate itself through flavor varieties (Bud Light with Lime, Golden Wheat), Coors has gone in another direction – packaging.  Specifically, how can I tell if the beer is cold enough to drink and then how do I get said beer into my mouth faster?  Meanwhile, Miller has been dabbling in both taste – leading off with Miller Chill – and packaging, following Coors with the turbo-charged Vortex bottle (“It’ll get ya drunk!“).

What is Coors up to? Offering technology to their (tactile-challenged?) customers, telling the drinker exactly when the beverage temperature is just right, Coors Light either A) knows something about the CL drinker that I don’t (very likely), or B) is just giving up.  “The wide mouth and vented can simply was not enough.  Enhancing the taste of the actual product is out of the question.  We pretty much look the same as our competitors.  What else is left?”

I wasn’t in the focus group meetings.  Perhaps detecting warm beer is a serious issue near and dear to the CL drinker’s heart.  Is color-changing technology the final frontier for American beer producers?  Hardly, right?  What I do know is Coors lost this male, age 18-34 with their attempt to go Mood Ring on us, and I’m not the only one.  Let comedian David Cross explain what I’ve been thinking the past few months.  Only funnier.

Listen (also rated R for language) (via Alt Report)

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